Astronaut Love Triangle News!

So I was pinching myself not too long ago when the band I'm in, Elizabeth Riley Band, got an email from Astronaut Love Triangle suggesting a collaboration!  We gathered in December for a practice and it was another moment of surreality for me to actually PLAY Astronaut Love Triangle songs WITH Astronaut Love Triangle!  wow.

This is Manny Blue from ALT - she is holding a genuine Salvation Army tambourine and case...

These are three of the four points on the triangle... Dave, Manny Blue and Jimmi Jetz.

We played: Large American Car, I don't deserve this and a new one about a roller derby girl...

Will keep y'all posted as the collaboration continues - they promised to help us 'space-punk' some of some of our numbers...!   :)

On Taking Risks part II

Earlier this year I took a risk that felt scary.
It was scary for me to apply to a PhD program for a few reasons.

I have a child to support and I am lucky enough to have a secure job. To start the PhD, I am cutting my income down by two thirds.

The logistics scared me because I am going to attend McGill, in Montreal, but I want my son's life to be as little disrupted as possible. I want him to stay in the same neighbourhood and school, close to his dad, who lives on the same street as me.

I also had to face an entrenched fear about the writing that is going to be required. When I was doing my Master's thesis, I got into a morass where I alternated between frantic unproductive writing and sitting at my computer writing nothing at all. For the first time in my life, I felt what it is to be sick to my stomach because of anxiety. I used to think about throwing myself down the stairs to hurt myself just enough but not too much. Finally I realized that I needed a metaphorical rather than a literal break. And when I came back, I finished my degree with coursework. But my failure to write the thesis haunted me.

It's the third fear that kept me from pursuing a PhD earlier. But ironically, I have spent the ten years since developing expertise in the field of Writing Studies precisely because of that failure to write.  And my area of specialization as a PhD student is going to be Writing Studies!

I'm not sure why, but now I find I have the courage to do this.

On Taking Risks part I

Well, it has been a while since I blogged.  These things happen.  I've decided that I'm going to blog regularly again, and the way I'm going to implement this intention is by posting on a weekly basis!  About... music stuff still, and also about the rest of my life at times.

I wanted to blog today about taking risks.  When I first started this blog, it felt like a risk.  Putting my real name out there on the net and talking to a bunch of strangers (or nobody, if nobody reads posts) was a step I had to talk myself into.  I did it because I felt it was important for me to feel accountable for some of the goals I set for myself during my sabbatical year, notably - playing music with Elizabeth Riley Band.

And listen, because of writing the blog, I actually made contact with Nat Myles at the Elmdale and that's how we got our first gig.  Pretty damn cool.

Since then, we have played around town quite a bit, with some hiatuses here and there.  We've played some really cool venues, like the atrium of the National Gallery, Raise the Roof Women's Festival in a field near Kingston somewhere, St Brigid's (acoustics wow), bars like the Elmdale and Irene's, and a memorable barn dance out in the Ottawa Valley!  Basically, everything I do with music and performing just fosters a deeper love in me for doing it as much as possible.  It's a good fit.  It feels right.  Being on stage is a really comfortable place for me to be, and feeling connection with other performers and the audience through sharing music KINDA feels like the whole point of living.

This post is getting long, so I'm going to ramble on about taking risks some more in next week's post.  I'm taking some risks in my life these days that feel pretty scary at times, but I've thought about them a lot and they seem like good risks to take.  That's it for now.  Please comment!

New Year Miscellaneous Musings

As I scrubbed melted bubble gum off the inside of my dryer the other night, I thought about the year that just passed and the year ahead.

Last January, I wrote that the older I get, the less interested I am in my own angst. Instead of immersing myself in the full 3D surround sound of my angst, I find that it's like a movie that plays in the background as I putter around the room. And when I do pay attention to it, I think: oh yeah, that stuff. That stuff about what I haven't got done and what I SHOULD be doing, and the traits that I secretly think make me defective because they aren't the same as other people, and my regrets and embarrassments over mis-steps, etc etc etc... I wish I could turn off the movie or just leave the room or something. Maybe I'll figure that out someday.

But some things of note happened in 2009: I got a couch! Not only a couch, a whole set of living room furniture THAT MATCHES. Yes. And it was second hand. Also, I played some gigs. Survived a time period of extreme clutter in my house and lived to tell the tale. Discovered that indeed we DON'T have bedbugs (but I DO still have a bug phobia). Played many games with my ever-growing, astonishingly brilliant and devastatingly handsome son. Attended some great shows (including TWO Astronaut Love Triangle events). And decluttered my mind through unplanning. Then played some more music.

And those are just the things I blogged about...

I am still mulling over my goals for 2010, so I will just make this observation for now - 2010, rhymes with Jen. Good omen?

Sabbatical ending, and new beginnings, and continuing

Well, my son's last day of school is tomorrow, which is also my last day of daycare for him until he goes for full days starting in July, when I hit the office again. (Alert: Jen is returning to campus.) Between tomorrow and my start date at work, we have a little vacation time - at one point earmarked for a trip, but that has been unplanned (see previous post). Instead, some of that 'stay-cation' time is filling up with local fun things, like a trip to Mont Cascades and a farm vacation with my mom; and some of it is gloriously open and free. I anticipate lazy mornings, visits to the splash pad, many many games of let's pretend, music and stories. And I MAY even do a titch more simplifying and organizing in my mouse's nest of a home. I'm letting go of a lot of things lately, including my car. Anyone want to buy a 98 Toyota Corolla?

Housecleaning

I've been going through a bit of a low period, and I know there is a relationship between this moodiness and the housework issue. I always wonder if the house has slipped into chaos because of the emotional slide, or whether it's the chaos of the house (a gradual accumulation of mess, through attention going to things OTHER than regular housework) that causes the mood(s). I don't think it's a simple either/or. It's what I would term a dynamic relationship.

I just finished re-reading one of my favourite novels, Elisabeth Harvor's All Times Have Been Modern. It's a favourite because of Harvor's excellent writing. It was simply a bonus for me (in the take-comfort department) that the main character, Kay, is a 'slovenly' housekeeper. I was even a bit smug about the fact that, if my mother visits and opens my kitchen cupboards, she's likely to see pots and pans rather than, "A hairbrush and a mitten. And three library books. All overdue. Plus a teacup with petrified cornflakes dried on the inside of it." Kay overhears Idona reporting this on the phone to Henry, soon to become Idona's husband number three.

This is a roundabout approach to the following news: my house is substantially cleaner! All the public areas, plus my child's bedroom, are neat, organized and shiny. Not only that, but we are actively reminding ourselves (and each other) to PUT THINGS AWAY. What's that Buddhist thing-a-ma-jig: Clean up after yourself. (You know what I mean, there are six 'rules', like Be content. and Accept what is.) I'm particularly proud of the toy organization (and purging) that led to this wonderful state. Baskets from the dollar store played a key part.

It's true that clearing the decks and getting rid of unnecessary clutter frees one up on both physical and mental planes - which is why the next stage of project housework - my home office - will be a particularly satisfying accomplishment...

When it comes to couches...

...I just can't commit.

I admire many couches. I even try them out and imagine how they would fit into my space. Sometimes I fantasize about the perfect couch.

But when it comes right down to it, I'm not ready for a couch in my living room. Soon I'll be getting the piano delivered. I've got plans for a luxurious red rug and floor pillows. That'll have to do for now. In fact, right now, that is what will make me happy.

This one's an update. My life has been fairly eventful over the past few days. Most of the events involved me being in denial about having a cold, doing fun energetic things, then collapsing and whining like crazy, but hey - no regrets.

Still trying to schedule in the retail therapy with TWFKAH. We may just default straight to the wine/whine-fest part.

But thanks to Aggie, I now like port. And, you left the bottle at my house, dear. You are not getting it back...

I'm at Umi, and a firetruck just drove by. The firefighters all craned their necks to look in the windows. Maybe firefighters have a secret love of Umi. But they can't indulge it because they're all manly and tough and not into spoken word and peace rallies... um, I guess the cold medication is making me high, that makes no sense.

what am I trying to say? mainly, nothing. But I can't wait for this cold to be over. And I'm really bummed out that I had to cancel volunteering yesterday. The teacher gets me to sit in the hall and take turns reading individually with each kid. I love it. The kids are so amazing, these little tiny beings with their big huge personalities, their daily struggles and passions and rampant curiosity. I think volunteering in jk is probably my most favourite thing that I've done during my sabbatical.

My next most favourite thing has been the music. Still going to be doing some music stuff - a possible date at Umi, in discussions; March 26th at the Elmdale (a thursday - you know the drill - take friday off so you can stay late and come to my place afterwards for the post-party).

One final thing - my friend Carmel needs to buy a second hand van or small truck - any leads?

(photo credit: blavish.com)

7 random and/or weird facts (yes, it's a meme)

I was tagged for this by Raino. I'm going along with it because of my basic good nature. And I've been meaning to post anyway...

These are the RULES:
1.Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
2.Share 7 random and / or weird facts about yourself.
3.Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include the links to their blogs. 4.Let each person know that they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
Do it ! It’s fun.

These are the FACTS:
1. I like being up late late late at night. Alone, with others, whatever, wherever. It might be pathological. It might be an addiction. An addiction to insomnia.
2. As a teenager, I was horse-crazy. But the last time I was on a horse was ... oh, ten years ago, maybe? And when I got off the horse, EVERY MUSCLE IN MY BODY ACHED. Each muscle ached with a little separate ache, so I learned about muscles that I didn't even know I had!
3. My phone is pink.
4. I like rainy days. I also like November.
5. Right now, as I type this, I am supposed to be doing something else. Shocking.
6. um, I'm having trouble thinking of something else...
7. I have no favourite colour.

Here's one more fact: One of these days, Elizabeth Riley will have a website and a myspace set up - it's in the works, thanks to the wonderful Carmel and the fabulous Mike.

Second verse, same as the first...

Where do I start? I am embarking on this adventure in the blogosphere as a way of communicating, yes; keeping myself on track, certainly; keeping track, for sure. In July, I begin a year's sabbatical from my job at Carleton University. During that year, I have a number of things I want to do.

I'm looking forward to spending more time with my son, who is starting school this year. It's a big year for him, and I'm glad to have time and a flexible schedule in August and September to help him with that transition.

I have some professional projects that I am working on and hope for some positive outcomes from those. I will be doing some freelance coaching and consulting work; taking part in a research project headed by a colleague at Carleton; taking at least one course.

My other professional project is in a different profession altogether - music. I have numerous music goals, but this is what they boil down to: perform as much as possible, and record. I'm not a professional musician, but I would like to be. I started playing the guitar as an adult, so I'm insecure about my guitar skills. I love singing. I have lately discovered a love of percussion, too. I've played open mics with my friend Patricia and a few other friends here and there. During this sabbatical year, I have some skills to work on (guitar-playing, songwriting), some songs to record (both original and covers), and I want to perform as much as I possibly can.